Mentally: Narrow thinking/prejudice vs. the wonder of learning
Emotionally: Irrational thoughts/behavior vs. fruits of spirit, love & mercy
Spiritually: Eternal death vs. faith, hope and charity
Physically: Debilitating existence in nursing home vs. Vitality, movement
Socially: Isolation vs. positive relationships with friends and family
Friday, March 26, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Self-Induced Misery
This week has been Spring Break and I had so many plans. First I was going to go to TN to visit my kids. Then I decided to stay home and finish unpacking things like pictures, office supplies, etc. I had also made tentative plans to do a little hiking with some people at work. NOT!
The first part of the week ended up being stormy and cold and no outside activities would have been pleasant. The last two days were sunny and I have taken hour-long walks which is better than nothing. I started on the CHIP program again; not strictly following the first week of 'cleansing' but enough to eliminate junk food from my diet. I can't stand myself any more.
Then, as to sorting and putting away stuff? I have a living/dining room floor full of half-sorted piles of paper to put away. Here it is Sabbath. I get so angry with myself for not having a clean abode to surround me as I rest on Sabbath. It totally throws me off, I've decided. I've spent years going overboard on both extremes; cleaning and working so heavily on Friday as to be too tired to enjoy any Sabbath activities; even a good sermon is lost if I fall asleep!
I've also gone to the other extreme of just letting it all go, going to bed early, leaving the mess, in an attempt to be alert mentally and spiritually to enjoy my day with God. Now, the mess distracts me and I can't focus. Either way, I'm doomed.
So, what to do? I tend to let any housecleaning go until the end of the week, because I'm too exhausted after work each day to do anything. So at the end of the week, Ouch! Overwhelming! So I suppose one solution would be to keep things picked up during the week so there isn't so much to do on Friday. Have I tried that? Perhaps not with my whole heart, as it hasn't seemed to work. I can distract myself in any number of ways, but watching TV, shopping and eating are the worst.
Guess I'm a 'princess' at my core, as I Hate Housework! Why do I rebel against it? Childhood? Oh, a therapist could really dig that! It is mindless work after all these years of 'practice' and I can listen to the radio and think about whatever while I do it. And, I have to admit that I feel huge relief and some accomplishment when things are clean and in place. But then the next fleeting thought is a big sigh that it will only stay that way a day, or perhaps two, and it starts all over.
Maybe that's what God is talking about when he says not to give up, to hang on, to 'sustain' and 'persevere'. Guess I'm not there yet, by a long way.
So, here it is Sabbath, I have a horrible mess to put away before I go to work on Monday. The thoughts of getting totally organized will still be biting at my brain.
Will the floor ever get vacuumed? It REALLY needs it. Not this weekend.
The first part of the week ended up being stormy and cold and no outside activities would have been pleasant. The last two days were sunny and I have taken hour-long walks which is better than nothing. I started on the CHIP program again; not strictly following the first week of 'cleansing' but enough to eliminate junk food from my diet. I can't stand myself any more.
Then, as to sorting and putting away stuff? I have a living/dining room floor full of half-sorted piles of paper to put away. Here it is Sabbath. I get so angry with myself for not having a clean abode to surround me as I rest on Sabbath. It totally throws me off, I've decided. I've spent years going overboard on both extremes; cleaning and working so heavily on Friday as to be too tired to enjoy any Sabbath activities; even a good sermon is lost if I fall asleep!
I've also gone to the other extreme of just letting it all go, going to bed early, leaving the mess, in an attempt to be alert mentally and spiritually to enjoy my day with God. Now, the mess distracts me and I can't focus. Either way, I'm doomed.
So, what to do? I tend to let any housecleaning go until the end of the week, because I'm too exhausted after work each day to do anything. So at the end of the week, Ouch! Overwhelming! So I suppose one solution would be to keep things picked up during the week so there isn't so much to do on Friday. Have I tried that? Perhaps not with my whole heart, as it hasn't seemed to work. I can distract myself in any number of ways, but watching TV, shopping and eating are the worst.
Guess I'm a 'princess' at my core, as I Hate Housework! Why do I rebel against it? Childhood? Oh, a therapist could really dig that! It is mindless work after all these years of 'practice' and I can listen to the radio and think about whatever while I do it. And, I have to admit that I feel huge relief and some accomplishment when things are clean and in place. But then the next fleeting thought is a big sigh that it will only stay that way a day, or perhaps two, and it starts all over.
Maybe that's what God is talking about when he says not to give up, to hang on, to 'sustain' and 'persevere'. Guess I'm not there yet, by a long way.
So, here it is Sabbath, I have a horrible mess to put away before I go to work on Monday. The thoughts of getting totally organized will still be biting at my brain.
Will the floor ever get vacuumed? It REALLY needs it. Not this weekend.
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