Another Sunday

I went to CEO's last evening and played with O; it was so cute! I wish I had video of all his cooing and aah-ooing he did! What 'stories' he told! He definitely had his eyes on mom and dad as they scurried around getting ready for some company...even though I was sitting right there in front of him! He is reaching, grabbing (and getting!) toys, pulling them to his mouth, listening to the sounds (he seems very sensitive to loud sounds -- they startle and upset him like they did his uncle A at that age.) He pushes himself with his feet in his little jumper/swing. He smiles, sort of laughs and tries to turn over when he's lying on his back. He can hold up his head when he's on his tummy, and lo and behold, the sharp edges of his right lower front incisor are quite apparent! He's teething everything he can get into his mouth! Such a sweetie! He just graduated from his bassinet to his crib. Sweet, sweet, sweet.

Can't wait to see my other new grandbaby when she's born!!!!!
***
At school, assistants were finally hired for my class (instead of subs) and I now hope things will settle down into a good routine so I can actually teach the children rather than the assistants! They even have a few hours on Friday contracted, so we can have little 'team' meetings to plan curriculum and do training.

I keep thinking my job is like a hostage situation. When one has been a hostage long enough, any tiny half-positive thing the kidnapper gives is looked at as a great gift...there's a name for it...is it the "Stockholm Syndrome"? Oh well. That's the way I feel at school. There are still so many things negative, but to have consistent staff (even if they aren't the best) is such a step foward, I feel greatly relieved.

The snow has mostly disappeared and yesterday was in the 45-50 degree range, with a minor breeze, so I walked along the creek. No herons, or unusual birds, but there was the local kingfisher, plus some merganzers and ducks. The Canadian geese were someplace else, too. Today is very moist and the air smells like rain. MMmmmm. Never thought I'd like it so much!

I'm tired as usual. Barb is coming to see me this week. She has had to take a month's medical leave as she broke both arms in a fall a couple weeks ago. She's pretty discouraged, as before her fall she was already in physical therapy for her sciatica, her house was burglarized (she's trying to sell it) and her water heater started leaking. She's really tired of home ownership and is moving in with her daughter and family who are remodeling their home a bit to make a small apartment for her in their house.

So this is what life comes to, doesn't it? We work all our young lives collecting "stuff" and we spend the last 1/4 of our lives trying to get rid of it.

Myself, I'm ready to get rid of all my preschool stuff. The younger teachers have so much more life force and new ideas. I'm ready to pass the baton to them.

My hat is off to younger people who are able to pick up the banner for right teaching of their families and honest work for God and their world. Hang on guys. It won't be long. Jesus is coming.

Ground Hog Day

For some reason I like the 'old farmer's almanac' sort of thought behind Ground Hog's Day. However, I did not like the nightmarish quality of the movie of the same title and that seems to be what I'm re-living this weekend. Last Sunday, snow piled up. This Sunday...repeat. D*** it. I can't get enough done during the week at school, so I plan on doing it on Sundays. But, NOOOOO, here it is snowing again, same song, second verse. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of WW weather, the administration at my job, of me, basically.

I'm afraid of falling down or wrecking my car/myself in this white stuff. Oh, how I hate getting old and fears creeping in. Yet, I WILL GO TO THAT HORRIBLE SCHOOL AND GET MY ACT TOGETHER THIS AFTERNOON IF IT KILLS ME...and sometimes that doesn't sound so bad. Lying in the peaceful, blessed earth and awaiting Jesus' coming. Yea, I'm depressed, curse it all!
More than the February blues, too.

Oh, I know, "shout for joy, this is a new day"........more of the same. Oh, yea, others are much worse off than me, be thankful...oh, I am. Am I still depressed? Yeah.

Do I have good things now and to look forward to? Yeah. Am I still depressed? Yeah.

Do I like snow, basically? Yes, it is beautiful, muffles manmade noises, covers the ugly barrenness of winter. I even used to like to walk in it. But now, I just want to sit and cry. Will I, probably not. But I must face this fear of mine and get out there in it. I'll put on my little spikey treads and maybe even walk to school. That'll teach it. It canNOT overcome me!!!!!!!!
Grrr.

I'd add pictures, but all you need to do is look at the ones already posted.