Pride and Prejudice

I've had some bumpy relationship dealings with parents and staff and I've had to rethink my attitudes --with a capitol 'A'. I do have some prejudices and it makes me sad and angry at myself. One child came to school ill: runny nose, coughing, sneezing all over everyone and behaving even worse than usual. I knew in my gut she was ill. After putting up with it for three days, I called the parent and asked them Not to send their child the next day, as I felt she needed to recuperate at home and perhaps see a doctor. The next day....child arrives on the bus. SO! I called the parent....I always talk to a message machine in their home. Then called the dad at work; he argued with me saying the child's nose ALWAYS ran, that was just the way she was and they hadn't noticed any coughing or sneezing. Well! Pride and Prejudice! I, in no uncertain terms, told this dad to come pick up his child. The child came the next week, a little better, but nose still running. I'm sure she must have allergies as well. Now this parent did not show at the scheduled parent-teacher conference and has not returned the field trip permission. Odds are that the child will show up without it on field trip day. When I asked my mentor what to do in that case, she didn't know. I think I'll probably be calling the dad again!

The nationality of this family's name made me feel prejudiced from the beginning. Then I met both mom and dad and I let go of it....I thought. Then the dad arguing with me on the phone ticked me off (pride in contest here) and so it goes. Another lesson to learn. It will be interesting to see where it all ends. Hopefully, in a good relationship.

Then, I have an assistant who is morbidly obese, and seems to have beginnings of dementia or hearing loss or both. (Of course my own pride about growing older and forgetful plays in here big time!) She listens to only the first half of what I say, takes everything very literally and black and white. If I change my mind in the middle of the course, she acts all confused and says, 'But I thought you said................." It drives me nuts. Then she'll start conversing as she busies herself, talking away from me, to the wall, whatever. Then I think she's upset that I don't know she's talking to me! So I have had to stop her and say, "I can't hear you. Are you talking to me?" Sometimes she says, 'Oh, it's okay. Nevermind." When obviously it was important to Her.

She seems so busy doing what she did last year for the other teacher in the habit pattern set up over those 20 years, that she doesn't stop to consider I may not want things a certain way. (Yes, I can be quite persnickety and demanding!) For example, one day we got ready to put on coats and backpacks to get on the bus to go home. She had removed all the coats and backpacks from the coat rack and laid them on the bench for the kids. Well, of course, she didn't tell anyone she had done this. The kids, who are very dependent on structure and routine, were confused and it made for even More confusion than is usual in this routine. She wanted it different as she didn't have enough room to let kids pass when she was in the isle.....there is enough room for a wheelchair, but not for her. Oh, how I wanted to say some snotty things to her! And then I gulped, because, in reality, I have eating problems, big time, too. We are in the process of seeing how to rearrange the room to accommodate more children and Large bodies. Oh bother. Pride and prejudice.

Of course the fact that she can hardly move because of bad knees, ankles, etc., puts a hindrance on what she can do in the classroom. She can't run or even walk fast, she can't get on the floor at all. Then my other assistant can't get on the floor either, as she has lymphodema. I'm the one left to run after kids and do all the floor work. It makes me angry not to have help in that region. I'm not a young, buff chick either!

So many problems we bring on ourselves. Just look at me as a prime example. Pride and prejudice abound!

Another Sunday

Here I am, about 10:30. Finally dug through enough paper to find my small purse of laundry quarters I'd saved in River City, so now I have enough to do my laundry today.........I really hate Laundromats: onsite or off! I'm P.O.'d about my apartment living. I'm angry at myself for not really reading the contract before signing it! They gave me a 12 month instead of the 6 month one I'd asked for and the neighbors upstairs and down are really noisy. Yes, it could be much worse, but I'm old and tired and less tolerant of 4 year olds who (with his mom, are 'permanent' visitors to the Real upstairs tenant) is stuck in a 3rd floor apartment constantly stomping and running! Then the downstairs neighbors who have their headbanging music up so loud I can hear it with my TV turned on the loudest level. Thank goodness they both have the decency to get quiet by 10 p.m. Like I said, it could be worse, and I can think of several scenarios along that line.

Okay, enough complaining.

The sun is brilliantly shining and Lilo has come to the stage of life where she enjoys following spots of sun around the room throughout the day. I found her on top of the microwave one day.....the only spot of sun in the house. Cute! Funny, how a few years ago, B.C. (before cats), I would have been horribly appalled by a cat with all its germs and hair ON THE MICROWAVE! At least she wasn't IN it! (No, I don't leave it open!) I cleaned her water fountain today and her dish. Gross. I hadn't done that since I moved. Poor thing. No wonder she'd abandoned her water fountain and whined at me to give her drinks of water from the faucets. I catch on slow........

I had parent-teacher conferences Th and F and that left me time to go through piles of paperwork at school and get a few more things done there. Now I just need to go through all these piles at home. Slowly but surely.

I've been fighting my annual October cold. I've begun to think I may have 'fall' allergies as well as summer ones....or maybe they just never quit. So, I've been trying to regularly take my allergy meds. I still have a sinus infection. I saw a program on TV just the other night about how prevalent sinusitis is and how it turns into worse. I think that happens to me every time. I keep trying to fight it off with home remedies until I succumb to bronchitis or pneumonia. I'm not doing it any different this year; I don't have a dr. here yet. I've been told the names of some good ones, but haven't pursued it. By the time my classes are over at 3:30, I regroup and get odds/ends done at the end of the day, it's all I can do to just go home and fix myself something to eat that's somewhat healthy. It isn't until about 7:30 that I get my second wind and by that time, offices and such are closed, so I can't pursue any appointments. The only appointment I've had motivation enough to follow through is for haircuts! Julia, at Carla's, is cutting my hair. She's pretty okay. Nothing's perfect and I've let go, just a little bit, of my perfectionism about my hair.

Wow! Am I rambling or what?!?! I had considered going to River City this weekend, but with my cold, not wanting to traumatize Lilo by leaving, not knowing who to come care for her and thinking I could get some boxes/paper taken care of here, I decided to chuck it. One friend really wanted me to come, as she is going on a vacation to Peru on Nov 1, and wanted me to look over her packed bag, so she could talk about it, mostly; she's very thorough. But she's also a bit toxic at times, especially when she's anxious...and that would be now!


All the personal issues I had put to the side previously have surfaced here as I face making new friends, finding new places to walk/hike, new things to do, etc. The emotional eating stays the same. God has something to teach me here. I don't know what, but I hope I'm open enough to accept and learn it.

So here I am: I've got the dishwasher running, got the laundry sorted, have done email and figured how to get pictures off my email onto my photo site (I know, I'm really a novice at all this computer stuff) and, done a little cleaning. Oh, and I'm showered and dressed......on a Sunday!

Okay, I'm off to the Laundromat. Blech.

Maybe Its the Weather

Its Sunday morning and I'm feeling lonely. Maybe its the rain. Maybe its the Reba "Survivor" CD I'm playing. Maybe I'm just missing my friends and family. Maybe I woke up too early. It would just be nice to share my small pot of Kona macadamia nut-chocolate coffee with someone close. Just to listen to the happy chatter or feel an arm around my shoulders. >sigh.........< After I finish my coffee, I'm off to do laundry. I could really use a four day weekend!!!!!!!

PS Queenie: Thanks for the offer!!!!!

Foggy

Weather. I'm consumed with the weather. When I lived down south, I'd watch the weather hour by hour, making sure I could survive long drives if the weather got bad. I'd worry what the weather would be so I could take a walk.....Would I have any breaks in the rain; would there be sun.......Oh, please let there be sun!

Here, I have had glorious fall days since I arrived. The last couple of weeks have been foggy in the morning, but beautiful sunshine in the afternoons, allowing me to walk along the seashore. Yesterday it stayed foggy till about 2:30 in the afternoon. Being Friday, I was pretty tired and though I had heard on the TV weather reports that rain was coming, I just couldn't drag myself out to walk in the evening. Instead, I fell asleep on the couch. Three days this week I walked at noon on the newly constructed path around a large part of the school grounds.

I've been fighting a cold for a week and my energy level has been low. The weather has been a priority......I really feel better when the sun is shining. At work, it is necessary to get those kids outside, too. I've been so thankful and glad for the sun!

When I awoke from my nap last night, the fog had settled in, so I decided I'd go to the grocery store before it got worse. I was actually glad for the fog. It made me feel a bit cozy, ready to hibernate for the weekend. It is a coast fog, not the inland dry stuff. This fog has fine, fine mist in it. I wonder how I'll feel about it in February? >smile<

I had appointments 3 nights this week. Tuesday, I attended a meeting for parents with autism and learned more about some of my students' parents who attended. I always like to get to know the families, as I can understand the children so much better! Wednesday I went to the local ESD (about a 1/2 hour drive..I was glad for No Fog!) to attend a teleconference on autism from the big city's children's hospital. Yes, most of the children in my class have autism. The information was really good, as it was education related. Thursday night was registration for and the second class of a computer class I'd signed for. It is at the middle school, easy to get to and THREE HOURS long/1x/wk. The first class I fell asleep through part of the lecture. The teacher left little time for actually working with the computer programs. I was really tired Thursday and started debating with myself about whether to go to the class or not. I want those 'easy' three hours of college credit! (My paycheck gets larger with every 10 hrs or so of college credits.) I did my assignment (which dovetailed with some work I needed to get done for the job) and went home to eat some supper. I checked my bank account. Nope, not going to the class. Bank account confirmed there would be no $ to register. Fine with me. It's been a full week.

Well, in the midst of the fog this morning, I'm headed to church. The first week I was here, I was anxious about the newness of everything. I'm an anxious person, you know. I'd heard the church was a ho-hum congregation, but decided to attend anyway. As I sat down in the sanctuary, there was the sweetest, most calming violin special! It calmed my soul, it was God's message to me, to come rest in His presence. The rest of the service I have no memory of. Each week I go, there is a special blessing of some kind. It may be small, but I go to see what God has for me as I honor Him by going to His House. Sometimes it is just the act of being there where the focus is on Him. I can't yet see His face for the fog, but I have Hope that soon we will see face to face clearly and the fog of my unbelief and doubts will fade away as the fog into sunshine. May you, too, find the sunshine through the fog. If you only have fog, may it blanket you with rest in anticipation of the sun.

Magic!

Life is daily, you know? And it is the little things that bring joy to our lives. My work continues to challenge, frustrate and bring joy, if not exhaustion. My 'alone' life outside work continues to challenge, frustrate and bring me joy..if not exhaustion! But little things happen that just brighten my day! For example, someone suggested I get a Mr. Clean 'Eraser" to get marks off my walls. So after trying all the tricks I knew (after all, I've had 50 years of cleaning experiences!) I gave in and bought this small consumable tool. Wahoo!!!!! Please don't tell me it's a menace to the environment, because it works wonders! It is truly magic in its cleaning abilities! I've cleaned all kinds of hard-to-remove dirt and it really does work!

No, this is not a commercial, but I just wanted to share my joy for all the busy, busy people who have little time for cleaning but love Clean!

After removing all the wall marks, I noticed that part of the inside of my front door looked darker brown than the ugly brown paint, so I applied the Eraser. Voila! Dirt came off in layers. So, I ended up cleaning the whole door, but the color isn't even as obnoxious now. And it leaves no streaks! Wonderful!!!!! All I have to do is dampen this little magic eraser and it works miracles. I've even shined up my chrome faucets!

Okay, other news? Life is daily, as I said. I've begun to attend Curves a couple times a week now, and I continue to walk a couple times a week, though that may end, as today it is raining consistently for the first time since I arrived.

I've put off turning on the heaters, but I'm up to wearing a t-shirt plus sweatshirt all day at home. At school, the heat Has been turned on, and of course, it is overly warm, usually up to about 80! Combine 8 active preschoolers, a thermostat set at 80 F and 3 older teachers who have personal power surges, and you've got heat-induced insanity! I finally was able to get someone to come turn down the thermostat. Thankfully each room has its own, as the other preschool teacher likes her adjoining room too warm, for my comfort!

I've been attempting, for two weeks, to put together a microwave cart that arrived, 'to be assembled.' I'm not good at these things. Even following a diagram is difficult for me. As my son said, he did NOT get his high visual perception abilities from my side of the family! And the other problem is that the pegs which lock into cam locks don't seem to be in fully, and now, I can't seem to remove them to try again. So the half-put together thing is sitting in a corner of my living room, currently being used as a TV tray. Such is life. >grin<

My headliner fabric finally arrived. Evidently it 'arrived' a couple weeks ago, but was sent back, as they forgot to add the apt. no. to the address! Grrrr. Then the returned box landed on the desk of a person who had emergency surgery, so until I emailed AND called them which caused them to hunt down the package, it would have just sat there for weeks and weeks. That fabric will cover two of my bulletin boards at school, as I can velcro pictures/schedules to it as tools to help my students with autism. I'm so glad to get it!

Well, I've given up using the onproperty laundry room as it is filthy with only one of two wash/dryer sets working. The local laundromat seems cleaner. So today I'm doing laundry, paying bills (at least I've received a paycheck to pay on them!) and going to school to put up that headliner fabric.

I've started a computer class to update me on Microsoft office and photoshop. I know bits and pieces, so it takes me twice/three times as long as it should to do a project. This class, hopefully will help me fill in the blanks.

Isn't that what life is all about? Filling in the blanks.....or erasing the wrong 'answers'? >smile<

PS: Did I ever thank my daugher for all her help packing my personal items? THANKS CB2. I couldn't have done it without you! Always love you.