Homesickness Over

Well, I've been here a month now.....my first milestone. I'm settled into somewhat of a routine and I've had good weather with sunshine. This weekend, the weather people predict, is the last of it, and already today I can tell the sunshine is disappearing under layers of clouds. I've got to find my sun-lamp!

I had a delightful surprise this last week! Jen came over and handed me a bag with colorful cups and small bowls for my classroom! She had remembered I was looking for some! Her kindness and the gift were just what I needed!

Did I tell you I got a brochure for the local symphony? It is only $140 for a season pass in the box seats (5 concerts). I was amazed! Of course its not the big city, but I am going to sign up for a balcony pass. That will give me some fun and culture throughout the year!

Today a mural made by all our school kids is being dedicated at the state park, so I'm thinking of heading out there this afternoon to check it out. It may be the last day without rain!

My staff/students and I have begun to be cohesive units and I'm glad, as we get new students next week. I'm busy with the same kinds of work I did before, but in a new setting and I like the new setting. I go to work and I come home.....no driving for hours on end. Now I can spend most of my time doing work with kids/families, rather than traveling!

Oh yeah, and I finally got paid on Friday. Now I don't have to live on credit anymore! Just pay it off! >GROAN<

Why am I here?

You'd think a nearly 60 year old wouldn't be asking this question. Humph.

You know, my move to OH was so fast, did I do this BIG thing on impulse, too? In some ways I think so, and some ways not. I know I'd been dissatisfied with my work, with the big city noise. But here, my work is still stressful and now, in this crummy apartment, I hear noise upstairs and down and I'm amazed at how many sirens there are close by.

The stress of that new paperwork has finally gotten to me and in my old procrastination form, I have reached the panic point to have to sit down and do it.

I traveled off the Island to Target on Sunday. Stopped at Fred Meyer, too. NO Big Lots store anywhere nearby. I had specific things I was hunting for, including a sturdy, inexpensive cabinet for the classroom that would sit on our countertop and hold our snack supplies. I found one of those 'cube' cabinets with doors made of pressboard. I hate pressboard, but it was cheaper than the 'rubbermaid' like material/cabinet. It will do. It's not like I'm going to get reimbursed by the school district for any money I spend on the classroom. And of course who was the one to put it together? Me. Of course, with my difficulty reading those stupid diagrams, it took me longer than any 'normal' person, but I got it done! It looks good and holds our supplies nicely!

And the district hasn't followed through yet on any of the computer program software they promised to install. The wheels turn S-L-O-W-L-Y!!!!!!!!!!! But I need the program NOW, to help set up stuff for class. Whenever I have a few moments to borrow a computer with the program, that computer is being used for paperwork.

Mondays are days for evals, paperwork and meetings. I didn't even get to the paperwork today, so I'm extra frustrated. It is so weird how I feel guilty for not helping my assistants do the organization and curriculum prep (like art projects), when I really should be hiding in the corner doing paperwork. I always promise myself I'll go home, eat, walk and then go back to work a couple hours.....................NOT! So things are left as is and time marches on.

I did walk tonight and pondered the "Why am I here?" notion. I walked along bayshore and, seeing fishermen gather along the shore (which I had never seen before) I wondered, "How do they know the fish have arrived?" How do we know anything? Why am I here? I even saw these huge fish jumping out of the water! Amazing! I don't know if it is the weather, an opening day of a fishing season or what.

I think I'm just overall sick of working. Age 65 can't come fast enough, if I'm well and have myself out of debt. Then I can retire and not worry.

As to a place of quiet rest; I just reread my lease I signed for this crummy place and it reads '12 months' not SIX months as I had agreed to.....by phone again. Never again will I hurriedly do this. I've made some MAJOR errors in not taking time to get EVERYTHING in writing and REREAD the fine print. Almost 60 and I feel like I should have learned this YEARS AGO! I'm kicking and kicking and kicking myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I still have lots of blessings I should be counting. The weather is perfect, I'm mostly cozy in my apartment, my job is less frantic than my last one. I got an email from my church Bible study group today. MY DIL wrote fun new blogs. I'm wondering if my daughter has dropped her blog (Do you hear me out there?) I wonder why.....................................why...............why....oh why I am I here!?! Have I made yet another HUGE mistake in my life?

Off to bed. Another week has begun.

Apologies

This week was a week of apologies. First, I met with the HR people to discuss the differences of our understanding of what my salary would be. They apologized for any miscommunication; I apologized for any miscommunication. We still have not come to a definite conclusion resulting in my signing a contract. I'd at least like them to reimburse me for my moving expense, but fighting a school district and teacher's union is more difficult than fighting city hall, so to speak. I don't know how much I want to get into this. In the long run, even if I 'win', I basically will lose, as there will be ill feelings/tension everywhere and bad recommendations to follow me should I go someplace else. But I'm praying that God will help me do the right thing.

Then, in the middle of the week my assistants let me know they were not happy with the way they'd been left out of a meeting I had with the OT. Gulp. Me...apologizing again. I could give reasons why they weren't included formally, but it wouldn't make a difference. Anyway, we talked it out and I think we have a plan for the future.

God and I have these little conversations going where I apologize for things I do (even when I know I shouldn't do them) and this was one of those weeks. I'm an emotional eater and want(ed) God to make me stop doing that. Unfortunately, I often go ahead and make wrong choices, so I apologized a lot this week!

Then I accidentally took the playground shed key home.....apology to everyone!

I keep forgetting to do attendance and I get reminded over the intercom...frustrations and apologies!

And I think Lilo has apologized to me finally for bringing her here. She actually stood near me meowling for me to play with her, darting back and forth, pretending to jump at me, flicking at my ankles with her paws.......oh fun!

Nervous twitches/Scratching

Well, I'm feeling a bit 'Island Bound.' There's no social life for me here. I didn't realize I had a social life in my old home town, but I guess I did. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. Even the phone calls have stopped. (That is probably good, as my phone bill was astronomical last month.)

Scratch; twitch.

Saturday I did get off the island a bit to walk the Thompson Trail again. I needed that 1 1/2 hour walk. I'm up to going to Curves on a regular basis again and my life is into its new, regular routine. Each day has its little, unblogworthy "I didn't expect THAT!" episodes since I am in a new environment and all.

At work, I met the teacher I 'replaced'. She was getting ready for two overseas trips when she slipped on an unsupported piece of equipment at her gym (can you say SUE?!?!?!) and broke her wrist into many, tiny fractures. She had surgery to screw all of it together and will have to have at least one more to fine tune the repair. She said, upon visiting her old friends at school on Monday, "If I were working, I'd at least be getting paid. The irony of it all is really too much!" I had to agree....but leaves me feeling like maybe she WILL come back next year.

Twitch, scratch.

I'm not sure I want to stay anyway, but I don't think I'll want to work at ESD again, either. My salary here is a huge disappointment and I only put myself nearly into bankruptcy by moving here. I'm exhausted from worrying about it and I won't get my first paycheck until the end of the month. Oh, yeah, I'm living on credit. Ouch!

Twitch, scratch, Twitch, scratch!

I'm having a conversation with the supervisor who hired me and HR tomorrow. I'd appreciate any prayers, thoughts, meditations to influence them into feeling some sense of responsibility for at least paying my moving expenses. Because the original offer was over the phone, there's no written record (I foolishly did not make them give it to me in writing!....Learn from me, please!) and the wages set by the teacher's union are on public record over the internet. Of course, I've tried to find out how they set those up, but it is a mystery to me, how they do the "steps." I'm probably missing something easy. Plus, I probably gave them the power to throw the key away to the 'locked in' salary by refusing to join the teacher's union. I just don't believe in their politics. And here I thought I wouldn't have to be involved in politics this first year in a new place! HA!

Scratch, scratch, scratch. Twitch, Twitch, Twitch.

I went for another long walk tonight to calm the twitching/scratching. It helped some.

For quite a few blogs back, I've discussed how life's lessons keep coming back to slap me in the face until I learn them. Well, this 'financial life plan' lesson just gave me a wallop that left a bruise. So, I guess I'm ready to give in. Put me on a $ diet; lock up my purse and tie my hands. Take away my 'window shopping'....it is the breakthrough drug of course.
Scratch, scratch, scratch.

Twitch, Twitch, Twitch......
Scratch, scratch, scratch.....

Now where was that teacher's catalog?.................

Reality sets in

I've made it through my first week of teaching. It had its ups and downs. See Adventure 57 for details. I haven't gotten into a regular exercise routine yet and my body is telling it. But I've been able to run and be outside with the kids all week, so that has helped.

My experience here is still positive, but I've been very disappointed in the salary offered me on my contract. It is actually LESS than I would have made at ESD this year. I actually got brave and sent an email to the director who hired me. She said she wanted to meet face to face rather than discuss it in emails. Of course. I doubt anything will change, though, as salaries are set by the union. I think that when they quoted me an offer, my experience as a paraprofessional was thought to be certified teaching experience until they really looked into it. So, really, I'm in no position to go anywhere else at this point in time, so I'll stick it out for the year, anyway. Maybe God does just want me to have this one year adventure. Maybe I'll be due for a Memphis adventure next year?

Overall, I think my living expenses will be a little less here over the year. We'll see. So it may come out okay, but I racked up so many moving expenses, I am overcome with all my debt right now.

Reality sets in.

Lilo has finally decided she likes it here. She meows at me to open the blinds so she can see out in the mornings and has found her comfy dining chair in which to nap. She sleeps in her favorite spot on my pillow at night and has had lots of fun attacking bugs that fly in from open windows (there are no screens, but it is colder now, so the windows are shut.) We are into a regular routine.
It's all mine!
Home at last!
Reality sets in.

I think I'm skipping church tomorrow for a hike on the trail Cindy and I walked last two weeks ago. Church here, is, as A&C said, boring. I may try Anacortes or the one A&C attended a few times, but it is so far away. I really miss my Bible study group. I had finally found something really good in that! My soul aches for it.

My hairdryer blew up...with sparks and smoke! just as I finished drying my hair this morning.

Reality sets in.

For those of you who know how obsessive I am with my hair (I know, it never looks it), I have found a decent hairdresser and have even changed to using a different shampoo that I like........amazing, isn't it?

This weekend I plan to fill my tank with gas. It will be the first time since I moved here. I have to chuckle to myself to realize how little gas I've used compared to what I used in OR.

Reality sets in.

I'm a little lonely, so I plan to call the B's and go see them if they are available. I think I'll call Matt, too, and see if he'll take me on base to the furniture store to look for a microwave cart. First I'll check on a free one in the recycle section of the classifieds to see if it is still available.

Wait till you see my new buffet. You'll love it! Here's a couple pix:

Corner finial

Eighth Day: New Beginnings.

Hey, here it is, Friday afternoon and I am sitting in my classroom amidst more disarray (I have a lot at my newly half-unpacked apartment, too), just too tired to do anything more constructive than sit at the computer, where a little voice kept saying, "we have internet here!. Eight days without internet is like living in a vacuum for me now. Of course, I can't find my radio and my TV doesn't work except for a Spanish channel, a shopping channel and one of reruns. Once in awhile it will flash on a bit of news from a Seattle station; once I got a French-speaking Canadian station. I have to drive around in my car to listen to news on the car radio.

The last 1 1/2 weeks have been a whirlwind. My dear friends and coworkers helped pack a 16 ft truck, a van and my car. Then I had to haul my poor, frightened, panicked Lilo cat out of the top kitchen cupboard into her car crate for the trip. My friends drove the truck and the van to my new home port. We all made it safely, though the van was on the fritz. By the next day, when my Navy friends' time to help was limited, and we three were exhausted, I finally stuck out my credit card, hired two hunks from Mayflower and they unloaded the truck. It was great being the 'supervisor', telling them where to place different boxes. I'm in the midst of unpacking, still, and now, sitting in this classroom, I am in the midst of rearranging here, too. My brain is tired.

Every once in awhile I still get those little signs that tell me I've done the right thing. There have been several this week. For instance, I was at KMart and ran into two college friends. I roomed with the woman and my x roomed with her hubby when we were all engaged before graduation nearly 35 years ago. I hadn't actually heard from them for about 25 years. Amazing. We looked at each other, looked again (getting old is the pits, remember?) and then just started hugging. I was in the middle of checking out and they were in the line next to me. People just stared at us and we didn't even care. We talked for about thirty minutes. He is going to be working on the student information system at WWC (check it out, C&EP) and they just moved there. They were attending a wedding here. Amazing that we would happen to be at that particular place at the same time!

Then, people are just so kind here. My property manager hugs me like an old friend, a couple of coworkers want my home phone so we can get together. One new coworker just moved here after living 26 years in Hawaii and also feels a bit displaced, we just seem to have hit it off! My DILs' best buddy has been more than accommodating for my needs of computer info. My son's buddy has called a couple times to see if I need anything. I feel well cared for.

I've driven all over town for a week (and believe me, I've gotten lost a few times! Because I'm so tired, my 'maplexia' kicks in and I get all turned around), and yet, have only used shy of a 1/4 tank of gas in my little Honda Civic. It is truly a blessing. One day this week, I had an hour for lunch, so I did two errands and made a lunch at home before coming back. Amazing!

The weather has been cool, but is warming up for a last summer hurrah for the holiday weekend. I'm looking forward to at least one day of exploring a hiking area we were told about during our orientation (yes, they even shared some area history and culture!). Did you know that the second language of the area is a Philipino dialect (starts with a T, can't remember the full name)? Not Spanish, as is common in so many areas.

Well, I'm heading home. I want to do laundry and finish as much of my kitchen as I can before my friend Cindy comes to visit for the weekend. Since I hope she's driving her bigger car, I hope she will help me take a bunch of my larger boxes, full of packing paper, to my storage unit.

Here's to the "eighth day: new beginnings."