summer memories

Picnics in the "Bullpen": that's what my dad labeled our enclosed (6 ft high basketweave fenced) patio with picnic table and bar-b-que. I think I know why he labeled it the 'bullpen' now. There was a lot of B.S. shared there!

On late summer evenings, often after mom had canned fruit over a hot stove all day, she'd fix a big salad, maybe some oven-fried potatoes and dad would fire up (I did it when I got older...and my sister enjoyed lighting it!) the bbq with steaks or hamburgers. I don't remember doing chicken or fish. Iced tea, koolaid for the kids, beer for the adults. Often we had these 7-layer bars for dessert or made homemade ice cream. Mmmm. Those were delicious meals. These evenings were usually spent with neighbors or my mother's friends. I don't remember dad inviting anyone. After the meal, if extra kids were there, we might take our homemade skateboards to the sidwalk around the neighborhood church until dark. It sloped downward and we'd see if we could stay on the skateboard around the 90 degree cornered sidewalk. You have to understand that these skateboards were made with old metal skates that clamped onto your shoes. We'd use the wheel bases and attach a board on top (much smaller and simpler than what is available today).We'd have sanded and painted the boards ourselves, but it must have been dad that helped us put the thing together. I really don't remember. If we didn't skateboard, we played croquet and then tiring of that at dark, we would play badminton on the front lawn from the light of a bright yard light. If the birdie got stuck in the giant spruce tree, we'd conjure up all kinds of ways to attempt its retrieval. In the end, we'd talk an adult into getting the long ladder out to help us. (But that was last resort, as they were never happy to be interrupted!) We'd play as the adults visited. Then we'd collapse on the cool grass before the mosquitoes ate us up. Sometimes the visiting was taken indoors and then us kids would head to the wrap around, enclosed front porch and play ping-pong on the table dad had made for us. Those were good times. Despite the haranging verbal abuse at other times, these were short interludes of peace and 'normal' social interaction.

I remember mom working so hard to make it nice for dad and he was never satisfied, always complaining about one thing or another. No wonder she died young.

We had a wonderful yard. As in my previous blog, it was well cared for by dad. Work, that's all dad did. That's all he knew how to do....that and curse life. He'd wish himself dead, others dead. But somehow he loved nature. It gave him peace from whatever tortured his soul. The one positive thing I learned from him was that love of nature. He took care of our yard with flowers and grass and that patio. He put up a swing set and slide in the back yard when we were smaller and then dug the post holes for the badminton net when we were older. He fixed up the front porch with pegboard to hold our 'sports' equipment, while the other end of the porch had been arranged to be a 'playhouse' for dolls, etc. He'd made a doll closet and buffet, we'd received a miniature stove, sink and fridge for Christmas one year. He'd made me a doll cradle when I was very small and my sister had received doll bunkbeds at one Christmas. We had a couple of dollhouses on benches that we could play with. One was an old one we could re-wallpaper and put down scraps for flooring, carpet and curtains. I attempted cutting fabric scraps to make tiny clothing for the tiny dolls for those dolhouses. Later I tried to cut and sew, by hand, a few things for larger baby dolls and later for a teenage doll.....not a Barbie.

Our bikes were also kept inside on the front porch. Those bikes, purchased in the 1960's still looked like new in the '80's. My sister still has hers. I kick myself for selling mine at a garage sale when I had babies. My most freeing memories are of the summer evenings I'd take off on my bike and ride for a couple of hours, stopping to visit a friend or two (my parents never wanted me to do that!), riding through the cemetary to stop and look at old headstones, riding past some cute boy's house to see if he'd be there. Sometimes my dog would follow and if my sister and I rode together, we'd either have to take him back home or rescue him from trying to 'beat up' larger dogs. Biking kept my sister and I sane, as we could escape the arguing and fighting that was a constant in our home. We'd be gone long enough that dad would have gone to bed or collapsed in front of the TV with a beer. We could sneak through and run to our bedrooms for peace. Once in awhile mom made us wash piles and piles of dirty dishes and clean the kitchen, but at least we were left alone to complain to ourselves and each other about how much work our parents made us do. (Doesn't every child do this?)

If you get through this blog, I might write more another time!

A Mental Health Day

Okay, by now you know I'm more of a melancholy-type personality. Today was a 'sick' day from work for me.....a personal mental health day of sorts. The overall stress of the year is getting to me, along with the unseasonably hot days. We've had 'August' weather and I'm not ready for it in May.

My good intentions of walking more and more to practice for walking a half marathon in October (I know it's not much for most people) have gone awry. I suppose my hormonal balance is way off, too, because all I want to do is sleep on the couch, munch salty crunchies and supplement that with Starbuck's Java Chip ice cream. I supplement that with a salad or my oatmeal and toast. That's healthy, right?

My weekend trip to visit with my all-grown-up kids made me feel so very happy for them. I love them all so much and am so proud of their determination to be happy with their spouses and themselves from the inside out. Keep on truckin, kids!

It's somewhat nostalgic for me to watch them, as at my age, I ache over being young, full of energy and hope for the future ....and afraid of the sorrows of life that will inevitably come to them. I pray they will find comfort and support during those times and if I'm of able body and mind, will be able to give it to them!

Advice: Plan ahead: W---a---y ahead! Its worth it to save money for college and retirement when you've just started living an independent life!

Question for the day: Why does love hurt?