Lilo in her new Cat Tree
Oh, How Long They've Waited!
'Da Plane, 'Da Plane!
Friday, March 31, 2006
Inspired by Family Pictures
Christmas Cat Lilo 
Lilo in her new Cat Tree
Oh, How Long They've Waited!
'Da Plane, 'Da Plane!
Lilo in her new Cat Tree
Oh, How Long They've Waited!
'Da Plane, 'Da Plane!
Trolling
Metaphor for my life, this.
Went on my walk today. Seems everyone was trolling.
Lots of people were trolling for sunshine. Fishing boats were lined up across the river trolling for fish. It is definitely fishing season here! The carp were flip-flopping in the marsh....and the herons were trolling for them!
I took off my sweatshirt and let the sunshine troll along my arms. I felt its heat penetrate my hair. The smells of spring full blown trolled through my olefactory system (Sure glad I'm taking allergy meds so I can enjoy it!)
Yesterday I trolled for a new job.
Then I trolled the internet looking for possible housing, churches, places to exercise. There were trolling places for lots of winter and summer outdoor activities.
Now I'm trolling for emotional stability as the feelings for the possibility of change take place. Change....I've written of that before. It brings, fear, hope, worry, new possibilities. Growth.
When I arrived home from my walk, the UPS guy was trolling for a safe place to stash a large box on my small porch. He was very glad when I told him it would be okay!
Trolling.
I'm going to now troll through my mess and ready myself for the Sabbath and work next week.
Went on my walk today. Seems everyone was trolling.
Lots of people were trolling for sunshine. Fishing boats were lined up across the river trolling for fish. It is definitely fishing season here! The carp were flip-flopping in the marsh....and the herons were trolling for them!
I took off my sweatshirt and let the sunshine troll along my arms. I felt its heat penetrate my hair. The smells of spring full blown trolled through my olefactory system (Sure glad I'm taking allergy meds so I can enjoy it!)
Yesterday I trolled for a new job.
Then I trolled the internet looking for possible housing, churches, places to exercise. There were trolling places for lots of winter and summer outdoor activities.
Now I'm trolling for emotional stability as the feelings for the possibility of change take place. Change....I've written of that before. It brings, fear, hope, worry, new possibilities. Growth.
When I arrived home from my walk, the UPS guy was trolling for a safe place to stash a large box on my small porch. He was very glad when I told him it would be okay!
Trolling.
I'm going to now troll through my mess and ready myself for the Sabbath and work next week.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Nature Notes
It is a gray, grey overcast, rainy, dreary day, but I went walking anyway.
Noted:
No squirrels
flocks of robins
fewer crows
sparrows
a few seagulls
Mr. Bald Eagle
Great Bllue Herons
Mr. and Mrs. Mallard
Mr and Mrs. Woodduck
Breeding American Goldfinches (3-5 m and f!)
1 Northern Flicker
small flock of bushtits (I think)
yellow, white daffodils in full bloom
pink, white flowering cherry, crabapple and plum trees
the beginnings of 'petal snow'
pink 'tulip' (magnolia) trees
fuschia pink, lavendar azaleas
pink, white, red camelias
some other miniature pink-clustered flowers on leafless bushes
snowdrops
purple violets
wild trillium
wet green grass
trees that seemed to turn greener in the 1 1/2 hours I walked!
Rain that stopped falling an hour into my walk.
Noted:
No squirrels
flocks of robins
fewer crows
sparrows
a few seagulls
Mr. Bald Eagle
Great Bllue Herons
Mr. and Mrs. Mallard
Mr and Mrs. Woodduck
Breeding American Goldfinches (3-5 m and f!)
1 Northern Flicker
small flock of bushtits (I think)
yellow, white daffodils in full bloom
pink, white flowering cherry, crabapple and plum trees
the beginnings of 'petal snow'
pink 'tulip' (magnolia) trees
fuschia pink, lavendar azaleas
pink, white, red camelias
some other miniature pink-clustered flowers on leafless bushes
snowdrops
purple violets
wild trillium
wet green grass
trees that seemed to turn greener in the 1 1/2 hours I walked!
Rain that stopped falling an hour into my walk.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Honor
This is the second week of my long spring break, and as usual, I am disappointed with myself for not having accomplished anything worthwhile the first week and now have only one week left to get too many projects accomplished. (And already it is 9 a.m. and I'm not exercised, dressed, etc.) Originally I had imagined myself catching up on my work-work the first week and then happily doing many home projects the second week. It didn't work out that way. Too many naps, cancelled home appointments, impulsive window-shopping (that took too much time!) and finally, by Thursday, just worn out from trying to try. Honor leisure. Honor work.
My kids visited over the weekend. We had a short visit on Sunday to celebrate their birthdays. The restaurant was so very, very generous in giving us desserts! What a happy surprise! Honor neighbors and patrons.
It left me happy to have been with all of them briefly, but determined to figure out better ways of visiting with them than over food and shopping. Not that I don't Love to Eat and Shop, but it just isn't a good way to catch up on news and really build our relationships. I really enjoy times I've spent with them over weekends as we get to know each other's routines, likes and dislikes, fears, hopes, plans, etc. I guess this could be another part of the 'empty nest' syndrome, as my children move into such independence in their own lives and I live out my own. I don't want to interfere in their lives too much by visiting too often. I like my own space and time to crash when I'm working so hard (as I'm sure they like theirs), but I would like to get together with them more. I hate driving through the heavy traffic or for such a long time, but I need to get over it. I am blessed to have had them so close for so long. Honor my children.
Having children, raising them, and then watching them 'go off into the sunset' is an experience like no other. With my S having just come back from military duty, I'm sure he'd say his experience was like no other, as well. I guess all of our life experiences are 'like no other'. But, back to children. Many of my friends' children are having babies just now. How much I fear for these new families. I guess being older, looking back at my own naivite, makes me shudder with what I know now. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't know so much then. On the other hand, I probably would have been a much better parent and been able to nurture my little ones without putting so many of my own emotions on them. Well, they're surivors and seem to be thriving. I really do want each of them to Thrive mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, socially, and.....financially. I'm still learning all that. I guess it is a part of that 'sanctification process'. It takes us a lifetime to figure out life....and then, do we ever? Honor children. Honor parents. Honor family units.
Sunday morning I took my long walk along my favorite 'nature' trail. I saw a mama raccoon and two little ones sleeping high in a tree; such big and little furry lumps. I saw a bald eagle surveying his dominion. The Great Blue Herons were numerous, standing 'guard'. Those walks calm my soul. I am thankful for them. Honor Nature.
I found a sped prek job in CO available. It makes me wonder whether this is the time I need to move to CO to care for my father. Yet, it makes me depressed thinking about it, so I've tried to analyze why. First, it is dad! He is so crazy. Secondly, the thought of pulling up roots and starting over yet again, is overwhelming to me. I'm getting far too old to see 'adventure' in change. I am capable of doing it, but do I really want to at this time? I try to imagine myself in that new place with new job, living space, etc., but just can't feel comfortable with it. I am disgruntled with my job requirements here and wonder whether another job's requirements might be a nice change for me. Am I afraid I would fail? Yes. Deep inside maybe I'm kidding myself that I could do this job outside the place I am now. They 'put up with me'. Once you've been there awhile, they just don't fire you no matter how bad an employee you are....(well, unless you look at porn on the internet....as one guy found out! I suppose there's a few in every crowd.) Honor my abilities. Honor change.
Honor. Yes, honor. My D and I had a really good discussion about it this weekend.....now That was quality time. I'd like more of that! I'm trying to honor my dad. I feel sorry for the 'old coot' of a father I have, in that he is a very lonely, regretful old man, but has made his own bed and now he's lying in it. But I know how it is to be lonely and I don't wish that on anyone. Plus, he did provide a good, physical environment for me, even though emotionally, it was a roller coaster that flew off the track at times. He has both good and bad points.
My sister, how do I honor her? She has cut off communication with me, but still talks with D.
My mother....gone. Did I honor her?
My dad, crazy. Honor him? Humph.
Me, divorced, alone,
recognizing my aloneness, but not willing to share my life with anyone, as it takes so much compromise, trust. I don't have enough hope that there is any man out there I could trust to honor me, and perhaps I could never honor any man. That sounds really awful. Honor myself? Honor a man? Honor aloneness.
Learning to Honor a God I can't see, touch or hear is something I've learned over time, but I still don't trust Him completely, as I try to control my own life, to keep it from spinning out of control. Honor and trust workk together. I am a control freak and work hard at Not being one. That really shows control! :o) Honor God.
Okay, I've decided to go take another walk even if it does take a lot of time. Maybe the rest of my day will fall into place. Honor time.
Choice.
Trust.
Letting go.
Honor.
My kids visited over the weekend. We had a short visit on Sunday to celebrate their birthdays. The restaurant was so very, very generous in giving us desserts! What a happy surprise! Honor neighbors and patrons.
It left me happy to have been with all of them briefly, but determined to figure out better ways of visiting with them than over food and shopping. Not that I don't Love to Eat and Shop, but it just isn't a good way to catch up on news and really build our relationships. I really enjoy times I've spent with them over weekends as we get to know each other's routines, likes and dislikes, fears, hopes, plans, etc. I guess this could be another part of the 'empty nest' syndrome, as my children move into such independence in their own lives and I live out my own. I don't want to interfere in their lives too much by visiting too often. I like my own space and time to crash when I'm working so hard (as I'm sure they like theirs), but I would like to get together with them more. I hate driving through the heavy traffic or for such a long time, but I need to get over it. I am blessed to have had them so close for so long. Honor my children.
Having children, raising them, and then watching them 'go off into the sunset' is an experience like no other. With my S having just come back from military duty, I'm sure he'd say his experience was like no other, as well. I guess all of our life experiences are 'like no other'. But, back to children. Many of my friends' children are having babies just now. How much I fear for these new families. I guess being older, looking back at my own naivite, makes me shudder with what I know now. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't know so much then. On the other hand, I probably would have been a much better parent and been able to nurture my little ones without putting so many of my own emotions on them. Well, they're surivors and seem to be thriving. I really do want each of them to Thrive mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, socially, and.....financially. I'm still learning all that. I guess it is a part of that 'sanctification process'. It takes us a lifetime to figure out life....and then, do we ever? Honor children. Honor parents. Honor family units.
Sunday morning I took my long walk along my favorite 'nature' trail. I saw a mama raccoon and two little ones sleeping high in a tree; such big and little furry lumps. I saw a bald eagle surveying his dominion. The Great Blue Herons were numerous, standing 'guard'. Those walks calm my soul. I am thankful for them. Honor Nature.
I found a sped prek job in CO available. It makes me wonder whether this is the time I need to move to CO to care for my father. Yet, it makes me depressed thinking about it, so I've tried to analyze why. First, it is dad! He is so crazy. Secondly, the thought of pulling up roots and starting over yet again, is overwhelming to me. I'm getting far too old to see 'adventure' in change. I am capable of doing it, but do I really want to at this time? I try to imagine myself in that new place with new job, living space, etc., but just can't feel comfortable with it. I am disgruntled with my job requirements here and wonder whether another job's requirements might be a nice change for me. Am I afraid I would fail? Yes. Deep inside maybe I'm kidding myself that I could do this job outside the place I am now. They 'put up with me'. Once you've been there awhile, they just don't fire you no matter how bad an employee you are....(well, unless you look at porn on the internet....as one guy found out! I suppose there's a few in every crowd.) Honor my abilities. Honor change.
Honor. Yes, honor. My D and I had a really good discussion about it this weekend.....now That was quality time. I'd like more of that! I'm trying to honor my dad. I feel sorry for the 'old coot' of a father I have, in that he is a very lonely, regretful old man, but has made his own bed and now he's lying in it. But I know how it is to be lonely and I don't wish that on anyone. Plus, he did provide a good, physical environment for me, even though emotionally, it was a roller coaster that flew off the track at times. He has both good and bad points.
My sister, how do I honor her? She has cut off communication with me, but still talks with D.
My mother....gone. Did I honor her?
My dad, crazy. Honor him? Humph.
Me, divorced, alone,
recognizing my aloneness, but not willing to share my life with anyone, as it takes so much compromise, trust. I don't have enough hope that there is any man out there I could trust to honor me, and perhaps I could never honor any man. That sounds really awful. Honor myself? Honor a man? Honor aloneness.
Learning to Honor a God I can't see, touch or hear is something I've learned over time, but I still don't trust Him completely, as I try to control my own life, to keep it from spinning out of control. Honor and trust workk together. I am a control freak and work hard at Not being one. That really shows control! :o) Honor God.
Okay, I've decided to go take another walk even if it does take a lot of time. Maybe the rest of my day will fall into place. Honor time.
Choice.
Trust.
Letting go.
Honor.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Walk...Rest...Walk...Rest...Walk....
Finally, a walk in the sunshine without the busyness of the day hanging over my head. I'm on Spring Break! YEA!!!!!!!!!
The clouds have finally separated to allow the warmer spring blue appear. Spring has begun in earnest. The daffodils are in full bloom, along with other yellow ground flowers. The birds are orchestrating an entire symphony accompanied by the frogs. I saw a bird in flight with an incredible wing span. It was close enough for me to know it wasn't a bald eagle, but it looked more like an eagle, but blotchy brown. After looking in my bird books, I think it was an immature bald eagle. Amazing. The robins vied with me for their space, the squirrels looked at me curiously from their nearby tree perches, not even scampering away. The Great Blue Herons were standing guard in the marsh; each one solitary. yet with others within calling distance. The geese were all there, as were the ducks. The crows tried to fight with the hawks over territory, trying to chase them in the air, but to no avail. A few starlings stumbled in the grass, but the focus was on the songbird symphony, the chorus and accompaniment.
It's good to start walking again. I haven't for awhile, and I'm really out of shape again.
A new twist: I've acquired my asthma symptoms again. Last night I had a more acute coughing, short of breath episode. I don't know what brought it on. It calmed after I used my inhaler and took an allergy pill. This morning I took an alllergy pill before I went walking. I could breathe pretty well, but still have that chest congestion and short of breath thing going on. I have a dr.s appt this week, so I'll ask her about it. I can hear the results already. "Well, you have some lung congestion, so here's a prescription....and if that doesn't work, come back.....blah, blah, blah." Finally, "take two aspirin and call me in the morning."
I'm going over to see B's baby today, I hope. I haven't seen her in a week or so; will take another picture!
Then, I think I'll go look at new washing machines at the discount place and see if I can afford one of them. Maybe that will calm my neighbor who thinks my old machine makes too much noise for her to be happy. So I try to tiptoe around doing my laundry when I see her car is gone....which is about the same time mine is gone most of the time, since her work schedule seems similar to mine. It is frustrating....for both of us, I suppose. She suggested I do my laundry elsewhere, but I'm not about to pay to do my laundry when I finally have a machine of my own, even if it is old and noisy! (The funny part is that I can't hear it at all in my place! ...The machine is in the basement.)
Over spring break I have a whole list of things I want to get done. Here's to accomplishment and some time for myself! At least if I go in to the office to catch up on paperwork, I've got a different paradigm: I catch up on my work among my home projects, rather than doing home projects sandwiched into the work projects!
I've walked so much I have a headache. Must lie down......rest.......ahhhhhhh.
The clouds have finally separated to allow the warmer spring blue appear. Spring has begun in earnest. The daffodils are in full bloom, along with other yellow ground flowers. The birds are orchestrating an entire symphony accompanied by the frogs. I saw a bird in flight with an incredible wing span. It was close enough for me to know it wasn't a bald eagle, but it looked more like an eagle, but blotchy brown. After looking in my bird books, I think it was an immature bald eagle. Amazing. The robins vied with me for their space, the squirrels looked at me curiously from their nearby tree perches, not even scampering away. The Great Blue Herons were standing guard in the marsh; each one solitary. yet with others within calling distance. The geese were all there, as were the ducks. The crows tried to fight with the hawks over territory, trying to chase them in the air, but to no avail. A few starlings stumbled in the grass, but the focus was on the songbird symphony, the chorus and accompaniment.
It's good to start walking again. I haven't for awhile, and I'm really out of shape again.
A new twist: I've acquired my asthma symptoms again. Last night I had a more acute coughing, short of breath episode. I don't know what brought it on. It calmed after I used my inhaler and took an allergy pill. This morning I took an alllergy pill before I went walking. I could breathe pretty well, but still have that chest congestion and short of breath thing going on. I have a dr.s appt this week, so I'll ask her about it. I can hear the results already. "Well, you have some lung congestion, so here's a prescription....and if that doesn't work, come back.....blah, blah, blah." Finally, "take two aspirin and call me in the morning."
I'm going over to see B's baby today, I hope. I haven't seen her in a week or so; will take another picture!
Then, I think I'll go look at new washing machines at the discount place and see if I can afford one of them. Maybe that will calm my neighbor who thinks my old machine makes too much noise for her to be happy. So I try to tiptoe around doing my laundry when I see her car is gone....which is about the same time mine is gone most of the time, since her work schedule seems similar to mine. It is frustrating....for both of us, I suppose. She suggested I do my laundry elsewhere, but I'm not about to pay to do my laundry when I finally have a machine of my own, even if it is old and noisy! (The funny part is that I can't hear it at all in my place! ...The machine is in the basement.)
Over spring break I have a whole list of things I want to get done. Here's to accomplishment and some time for myself! At least if I go in to the office to catch up on paperwork, I've got a different paradigm: I catch up on my work among my home projects, rather than doing home projects sandwiched into the work projects!
I've walked so much I have a headache. Must lie down......rest.......ahhhhhhh.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
NEWS! Changes, Spring Break!
Well, the winter doldrums are over and though it is still raining, the daffodils are blooming and there is a promise of sunshine soon to come.
I made myself drive out of town; welcomed my sailor-son home (I'm so thankful he's back!)I don't think my DIL could have waited another SECOND!!!! Congratulations go to my D and SIL on the new job changes. It was SO VERY, VERY good to get with family again. They keep me grounded and sane about who I am.
Today is the next to last day of work until spring break! I have one more kid/parent meeting later this afternoon and then I can collapse at home before heading back to work at the office on Friday: dutifully fulfill my place at meetings, make a few phone calls to prep for April and be done with it for awhile....well, you know a teacher's work is never, never really done. I do plan to do some home visits and play catch up next week, but it will be on my own time schedule. I will work it in around some home projects as top priority for a change. And if the sun shines! HAH! Work will have to wait.
Our team's SLP had her baby a short time ago and my hairdresser went into labor yesterday, which made me have to reschedule my h/c appt. Wouldn't you know?! When I made the appt., I asked her about it being so close to her due date, but nah, she said it was fine.....yeah, right. I do wish her the best and will find out next week how it all went.
Back to my 'children'. I'm so impressed by the way they are handling their lives. Their experiences are exciting to hear and observe. I'm excited for SIL's new job that will give him new challenges and help them finance the rest of their remodeling projects the way they really want to do them. I'm so very thankful that my son chose DIL as his wife.....they make a great couple and are so happy to be together again! Whew! and double WHEW! My D is so quiet, I miss hearing from her, but when I do catch up, it's so great! My cup is full for awhile till I need a refill.
I look forward to time off.
Are you watching "American Idol"? I switch back and forth to it. I'll bet the rocker wins. There hasn't been a rocker yet. Don't you think it really is all 'conspired' ahead of time?
Latest quote for the day: "When you're feeling blue...................Breathe!"
One of my little home visit people called me 'gam-ma' today and the mom just hooted! I feel both positive and negative about the name......it means I'm getting OLD, but also that I've gained some beauty and wisdom to meet the criteria. From the 'little person's' point of view, it was probably the OLD part s/he observed!
I made myself drive out of town; welcomed my sailor-son home (I'm so thankful he's back!)I don't think my DIL could have waited another SECOND!!!! Congratulations go to my D and SIL on the new job changes. It was SO VERY, VERY good to get with family again. They keep me grounded and sane about who I am.
Today is the next to last day of work until spring break! I have one more kid/parent meeting later this afternoon and then I can collapse at home before heading back to work at the office on Friday: dutifully fulfill my place at meetings, make a few phone calls to prep for April and be done with it for awhile....well, you know a teacher's work is never, never really done. I do plan to do some home visits and play catch up next week, but it will be on my own time schedule. I will work it in around some home projects as top priority for a change. And if the sun shines! HAH! Work will have to wait.
Our team's SLP had her baby a short time ago and my hairdresser went into labor yesterday, which made me have to reschedule my h/c appt. Wouldn't you know?! When I made the appt., I asked her about it being so close to her due date, but nah, she said it was fine.....yeah, right. I do wish her the best and will find out next week how it all went.
Back to my 'children'. I'm so impressed by the way they are handling their lives. Their experiences are exciting to hear and observe. I'm excited for SIL's new job that will give him new challenges and help them finance the rest of their remodeling projects the way they really want to do them. I'm so very thankful that my son chose DIL as his wife.....they make a great couple and are so happy to be together again! Whew! and double WHEW! My D is so quiet, I miss hearing from her, but when I do catch up, it's so great! My cup is full for awhile till I need a refill.
I look forward to time off.
Are you watching "American Idol"? I switch back and forth to it. I'll bet the rocker wins. There hasn't been a rocker yet. Don't you think it really is all 'conspired' ahead of time?
Latest quote for the day: "When you're feeling blue...................Breathe!"
One of my little home visit people called me 'gam-ma' today and the mom just hooted! I feel both positive and negative about the name......it means I'm getting OLD, but also that I've gained some beauty and wisdom to meet the criteria. From the 'little person's' point of view, it was probably the OLD part s/he observed!
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